Lord Change Me: Surrendering to Jesus
“Well, Lord, I was told today at church that if I would get on my face and worship You, I could find some answers . . . that I could connect with You . . . that You would change me. Is this what they meant?”
My nose was beginning to get a little rug burned so I turned my head and let my cheek rest on the floor. I continued to lay there for almost two hours. You see, I was desperate. My history was more than a little embarrassing. I was 40 years old and here’s what I had to show for it: a divorce, a bankruptcy, a lost business, $500,000 of debt, and the prestige of being a convicted felon. It’s true that I now was married to a wonderful woman and had some great friends. But the shame of my past still dominated my thoughts.
My list of atrocities did not happen overnight. I strung them out over a 22—year period. What’s interesting is that during those years I consistently read my Bible, went to church or Bible studies, prayed, and openly spoke about my love for and commitment to God. Yet I was a mess. A terrible disciple of Jesus Christ. So, in many ways, lying on my face that day was a “retreat.” I had retreated into God’s presence to lay down my old life—and, hopefully, emerge with something new.
