If you’re like most people, you’ve probably made a few resolutions for the coming year. Perhaps, you’ll lose weight, exercise more, watch less television, or spend more time with God. The problem with resolutions is that they’re only skin deep. You make a proclamation and then you use your willpower to try to fulfill it or make it happen. The Bible says that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Although our intentions are good, we lack the wherewithal or persistence to stick with our new year’s resolutions for the long haul and within days, weeks, or even months we’re right back where we started.
It all began 10 years ago. On the floor. On my face. I was lying with my arms up over my head and my nose planted firmly in the carpet.
“Well, Lord, I was told today at church that if I would get on my face and worship You, I could find some answers . . . that I could connect with You . . . that You would change me. Is this what they meant?”
My nose was beginning to get a little rug burned so I turned my head and let my cheek rest on the floor. I continued to lay there for almost two hours. You see, I was desperate. My history was more than a little embarrassing. I was 40 years old and here’s what I had to show for it: a divorce, a bankruptcy, a lost business, $500,000 of debt, and the prestige of being a convicted felon. It’s true that I now was married to a wonderful woman and had some great friends. But the shame of my past still dominated my thoughts.
My list of atrocities did not happen overnight. I strung them out over a 22—year period. What’s interesting is that during those years I consistently read my Bible, went to church or Bible studies, prayed, and openly spoke about my love for and commitment to God. Yet I was a mess. A terrible disciple of Jesus Christ. So, in many ways, lying on my face that day was a “retreat.” I had retreated into God’s presence to lay down my old life—and, hopefully, emerge with something new.
