I believe that life is not just about surviving and but thriving. However many years ago surviving was how I lived each day for a period of 4-years in which I suffered from a deep depression. I was a Christian at the time and did everything humanly possible to get relief. I prayed that God would take this heaviness away. I would play praise music and dance around the room. I went and saw both secular and Christian counselors. I even took anti-depressants, but nothing worked for any lasting time.
Then one day I was sitting in my dark green mini-van in the parking lot of my kid’s school. I was so wretched with emotional pain that you could cut it with a knife. For some reason, I just started doing these deep breathing exercises and with each exhalation I would repeat silently to myself, “I release pain,” “I release pain.” I said this over and over and in about a 10 minute time frame, all the pain was gone. There was a peace and stillness I had not experienced in a very long time.
In that peace, God spoke to my heart and told me that the reason I was so depressed was because of my chronically negative thoughts. As I listened to my thoughts, which were unconscious to me before this incident, I noticed that I was continually putting myself down. I was saying thing like, “I hate myself,” over and over and over, all day long. This was when my healing began. Within the next few months, using relaxation techniques and integrating them with scriptures I learned how to quiet my mind, eliminate my negative thinking, and restore my peace of mind. Also in the process of spending extended time in silence and solitude with God, my intimacy with Him increased as well.
Later, God inspired me to create my first Christian meditation CD, Controlling Negative Thoughts. Now I have over 23 CDs Christ centered meditation and affirmation CDs on many topics which allows Christians to meditate in a way that completely honors God and will not conflict with their Christian faith. In 2012, I authored Help Me God! Change My Life, a 18-week Biblically-based program that integrates Christian Meditation and God’s word with spiritual and practical lessons to help believers finding healing and balance in seven core areas of their life.
Now fast forward 10 years later and I have created dozens of Christian meditations, affirmations, and several courses that have been viewed and used by hundreds of thousands believers world-wide! I frequently receive testimonial about how Biblical meditation changed other’s lives just the way it changed mine. It amazes me just how many believers are silently suffering. You think they have it all together but so many are hurting. Just today I watched a youtube video created by a believer who has over 300,000 followers and he literally broke down in the video sharing his struggle with a debilitating mental illness.
Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but principalities and powers of darkness and wicked in high place (the spiritual realm) and we need to take our power back and fight our real enemy in Spirit and Truth. That first begins with renewing our minds so we can fully trust and embrace God’s Word. We absolutely must learn to God’s manifest presence in our lives if we are going to survive the days ahead!
This is me in Florence after hosting a Christian Meditation Retreat in Italy, 2019.
Although some might question my Christian faith or label me new age, my beliefs are deeply rooted in the Bible and the gospel of Christ, of whom I consider myself to be a disciple. I accepted the Messiah as my Lord and Savior at the age of 21-years-old. It was an exciting time for me, as well as my grandma who got frantically overjoyed as I left my seat and made it to the altar call. Although I didn’t feel any differently or hear any bells or whistles, my life changed dramatically.
For the next 20 plus years I was involved in every ministry possible from teaching Sunday School to participating on the witnessing team. After years of faithful service and church attendance, I began to become disillusioned with church, but not with God.
Although I attribute much of my memorization of scriptures with Bible studies and weekly sermons, I can honestly say that my walk with Christ grew tremendously when I began to seek Him on my own. No amount of church attendance or service will ever replace a deep, intimate, and fulfilling relationship with God. It comes only from dwelling in God’s presence and eating (and absorbing) his Word.
The Messiah said that the Most High is looking for a church that will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. It is only when we abide in His Vine that we can expect to see His fruit manifesting in our inner and outer being. Without Him we can do nothing of lasting value or consequence. Honestly, I don’t like to confess that I am the average Christian because unfortunately that often comes with many negative connotations. I consider myself a child of the Most High and a disciple of Christ and I enthusiastically attest that Christ is my personal Lord and Savior, God’s son and the greatest teacher who ever lived. It is my aspiration to become a vessel that He can use by continually striving to renew my mind, putting off my old self and nature, and by following the way of the Spirit which encompasses God’s love, harmony, and peace within myself, and with others, and the world. as well.
Participants at a Christian Meditation Retreat working on their Manifesting Journals.
I am also a part-time public school resource teacher where I teach 4th grade math and then assist other teachers as needed. I really love my job. In my spare time I love to garden. To the left is a garden plot I started this spring inside of a community garden. It’s so amazing coming back week after week and seeing all the growth that has happened. I’m also very passionate about health and fitness and really do my best to stay healthy and seek out natural alternatives to illness. I’m always pulling out my essentials oils for all types of ailments and they really do work!
*About to teach a session at a previous God Getaways Christian Meditation Retreat!
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