Are You Working for Your Value and Worth or Confidently Resting in Christ?
If you love historical dramas, you’ve likely been swept away by Poldark on Amazon Prime. I’ve watched the series—all five seasons, three times over—and each viewing reveals new layers of character and meaning. One of the most striking comparisons is between the two primary female leads: Elizabeth and Demelza. Their contrasting characteristics and life experiences offer us more than just entertainment—they present a mirror for our own lives. So, I ask you: Are you more like Elizabeth or Demelza?
Elizabeth comes from royalty. Raised in an environment of beauty, security, and privilege, she carries herself with an effortless grace. Dressed in formal clothing, her every move reflects the refinement of a life where her needs are met by the comforts of luxury. Her days are filled with leisure, the joys of family, and the ease that comes naturally when one is accustomed to abundance. In many ways, Elizabeth embodies what many of us might refer to today as living the “soft life”—resting in her femininity, embracing self-care, and allowing herself the space to receive as much as she gives.
In stark contrast, Demelza comes from humble beginnings. Her early life was marked by hardship—a hostile environment with a tyrannical father and unsupportive brothers. When Poldark first encounters her, Demelza appears haggard and almost animal-like, burdened by the scars of her past. Yet, through her journey, she transforms. Despite her inner struggles and low self-esteem, Demelza grows into a woman of undeniable beauty and resilience. However, even as she earns the title of a “kept woman” and becomes cherished by those around her, she still battles with the belief that she is never quite enough, that she must work herself to the bone just to be worthy of love and respect.
Watching Poldark for the second time, I found myself reflecting deeply on these two archetypes. I realized that for a long time, I was more of a Demelza—a woman constantly hustling, burdened by self-doubt, and feeling the weight of having to earn everything I desired. I was so busy fighting for my every need that I lost sight of the simple truth that, as believers, we are complete in Christ. Just like Esther in the Bible, who rose from obscurity to a place of purpose and influence (Esther 4:14), we are called to recognize that our worth does not depend on our struggle but on the unconditional love and provision of God.
As I pondered my Demelza mindset, it helped me to realize that my value was not measured by how much I could do on my own, but by the grace and trust that I had in God to meet my every need. This personal turning point reminded me that when we choose to lean on God, we invite His peace into our lives, allowing us to break free from the relentless hustle and rediscover true fulfillment. Just as Esther stepped into her divine purpose amid uncertainty (Esther 4:14), I also desired to embrace that divine rest and reflection can transform our inner lives and lead to lasting change.
Another transformative aspect is the power of self-care. I’ve discovered that simple actions—like dressing up in an outfit that makes you feel confident, maintaining good hygiene, or even wearing a touch of makeup—are not acts of vanity, but affirmations of the beauty God has given us. Especially as we age, these small rituals serve as powerful reminders that we are valued and worthy of care. When we take the time to nurture ourselves, we not only boost our self-esteem but also radiate a sense of confidence that can inspire others. As 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us, our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and caring for them is a form of worship. Embracing these moments of personal pamperin can they help anchor you in the present and keep you rooted in the joy and purpose that comes from knowing you are complete in Christ.
I must also admit that I have struggled with the need to do everything on my own. However, little by little, I am learning to let go and trust others. Whether it meant allowing my mate to tackle home repairs or simply asking a friend for help with a challenging project, delegating tasks has been a liberating act of faith. By releasing the need to control every aspect of my life, I found that not only did my schedule become less overwhelming, but I also discovered more time to focus on what truly matters—nurturing my relationship with God and deepening my connections with those around me. This shift has allowed me to slow down, reflect, and ultimately step into the fullness of the life that God intended, a life that is both abundant and balanced.
The question for us, then, is this: Are you feeding yourself with a Demelza mentality—striving endlessly, doubting your value, and missing out on rest and self-care—or are you embracing an Elizabeth-like life, one where you confidently rest in the blessings God has already provided?
Here are 5 practical steps to help you reflect and move forward:
Practice Self-Inquiry: Take a moment to ask yourself, “Do I feel I must work hard for every bit of fulfillment, or do I trust that God has already made me whole?” Journaling about these feelings can reveal hidden patterns.
Embrace Your Identity: Remember Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Let this truth reshape your self-image, moving you from the mindset of constant struggle to one of grace and acceptance.
Cultivate Rest and Self-Care: Like Elizabeth, learn to prioritize self-care. Create daily routines—moments for prayer, reflection, and even a little pampering—that affirm your worth and allow you to receive rather than always give.
Delegate and Simplify: If you’re overwhelmed with tasks and responsibilities, trust in others. Delegate when possible. As Proverbs 31:25 reminds us, a woman of valor is clothed with strength and dignity, and she is not burdened by doing everything herself.
Reflect on God’s Provision: Regularly remind yourself that God has provided all you need. Instead of chasing after worldly achievements or external validations, focus on the spiritual abundance available through your relationship with Christ.
We can be a blend of both Elizabeth and Demelza—a combination of grace and hard work. Yet, if you find yourself constantly in “Demelza mode,” working tirelessly without experiencing the ease and joy of rest, it might be time to reassess. Remember, you are already complete in Christ. Choose to lean into that truth, and let your life reflect the beauty and purpose that comes from embracing who God has made you to be.
Which one are you? Let me know in the comments—are you more Elizabeth or Demelza? And if you haven’t yet experienced the transformative power of Poldark, grab your popcorn and dive in. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.
Thank you for joining me on this podcast today. If you desire to make each morning a sacred journey, My Morning Sanctuary offers you a complete toolkit to set the tone for a spiritually enriched day. Click here to learn more.
