by Angela Westmoreland
A good match
Thinking of getting married? Heed the biblical warning about not being yoked together with unbelievers and save yourself from unnecessary grief (2 Cor. 6:13-15). Also, don’t forget about the issue of spiritual maturity. Some Christians are more carnal than spiritual and vice versa. This is also a crucial matter to consider. An important tip: Look for a believer whose spiritual character reminds you of your own.
Respect each others differences
Already married? What’s that? He doesn’t enjoy chick flicks?! She doesn’t enjoy primitive camping?! Guess what! Consider this “me time.” Watch a movie without having to compromise, call a friend, work on a project at home, spend some time on a hobby you enjoy. Don’t be afraid to be alone for a little while and give each other some space. This can be very healthy for the marriage relationship.
Seek Godly council
Facing a crisis in your marriage? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes we need assistance from other parts of the body of Christ! After all, we are virtually incomplete without other parts of the body. Continuing to sweep the situation under the rug will only add years of insult to years of injury. Yes, it will be difficult to initiate this conversation with your spouse but it will only be uncomfortable for about the first five minutes. Then, the devil will see he has lost and he’ll leave you alone. If your spouse refuses Godly counsel, remember that you are still responsible for taking care of yourself as the temple that God has designed you to be. You are only responsible for your actions, not the actions of others. Move forward with asking for help on your own.
Communicate not only verbally but physically
How important is sex in a marriage? Not quite as important as non-sexual touch. Remember to not only communicate verbally but physically as well. Every touch counts…..every hug, every gentle caress. This communicates value to our spouse and knowing that one is valued is a vital key to a strong marriage foundation.
Edify your spouse often
Words will never hurt me? The very fact that this rhyme exists proves that we are born liars. We are all familiar with the power of words to tear down or build up. Lift up your spouse with encouraging words. Give sincere compliments and be aware that it’s obvious when you are not sincere (just because you were born a liar is no excuse). If no one tells you that it’s obvious when you are not sincere, it’s only to spare you from embarrassment. Look for every opportunity to build your spouse up with words of praise.
Admit when you are wrong
So you’re not a walking encyclopedia? Trust me, no one is half as surprised you are. It’s okay, take a deep breath and realize that it isn’t the end of the world to make a mistake. However, you’ll loose the respect of your spouse (and many others) if you don’t learn to gracefully take a few seconds to state that you were wrong. Wrong to throw his calculator against the wall because you didn’t like the answer it gave you. Wrong to doubt her when she explained that there are sea otters as well as fresh water otters…….whatever, you get the point.
Share prayer requests
Thinking of spiking your co-worker’s coffee with Drano? Your spouse should be the first person you call. Let them know that their prayers are needed – quickly! Making your spouse aware of your prayer needs is very important for a strong marriage foundation. It let’s your spouse know those intimate details that you usually only discuss with God.
